Oh yeah. Just to keep it going:

38. Get Married. --October 4, 2013, 4pm Long Beach, CA

What do you think? Salacious Crumb from Return of the Jedi? That's what I'm seeing...anyone else? (To compare: http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/salaciouscrumb/ )

Also, I think I fucked up something good. Which always sucks.

Adam Rakunas (rakdaddy), friend, triathlete, geek and fellow Fictionado just dropped his first sale to Futurismic, and what a sale it is!

I had the great fortune to read a REALLY early draft of this story during our Fictionados critique sessions, and it damn near blew my mind. It's got some of everything: Violence, cell phones, cute bullies, Mean Girls, geeks, socio-political commentary, biting sarcasm, drugs, near future science fiction, electioneering, detention, and hi-tech sex toys for high school seniors.

No, I'm not kidding.

You need to definitely check it out if you're at all into science fiction. Just be warned: This ain't your mamma's blend of SF. It's down, dirty, and fun. Not for the easily offended, the young, or for work. Read it on the bus. You can explain why you're giggling to that 55 year old lunch lady sitting across from you. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

But, you should let Adam's work speak for itself. Enjoy Adam Rakunas's novella, The Right People.

(http://futurismic.com/2008/10/01/new-fiction-the-right-people-by-adam-rakunas/)

Bright College years, with pleasure rife,
The shortest, gladdest years of life;
How swiftly are ye gliding by!
Oh, why does time so quickly fly?

The seasons come, the seasons go,
The earth is green or white with snow,
But time and change shall naught avail
To break the friendships formed at Yale.

In after years, should troubles rise
To cloud the blue of sunny skies,
How bright will seem, through mem'ry's haze
Those happy, golden, bygone days!

Oh, let us strive that ever we
May let these words our watch-cry be,
Where'er upon life's sea we sail:
"For God, for Country and for Yale!"

Dear Fellow Computer Users:

I know you love your computers. I know you have a superior machine, and a superior platform. I know it well. I've used it for years, when given the chance. The first computer I ever did real work on in college was a Mac Classic. I've used pretty much every Mac in between. I use one at work, everyday.

Macs have a superior, smoother style to them. They have a user friendly interface, and read pretty much everything. The film and sound editing abilies alone make them worth my while.

I like Macs. I'd like to own a Mac.

What's stopping me, you ask? Why don't I own one? Why won't I switch over?

1) I play video games. Yes, I know there are cross platform games, there are PC emulators and tv console systems that let me go online. But I still have old school games (thank you Julian) which will only run on a pc (evil, evil DOS, buried so deep...buried so deep...), and current ones that only run on PC. Games that I've invested waaaaay too much time in, and that have come to be a part of me.

2) I can purchase a desktop PC for $400. $400. I can't buy an iPhone for $400. Think about that.

3) I like to right click. I use it. A bunch. I like to right click, third button click and use the track pad to click. On my laptop. Using one hand and no extra buttons. I am lazy this way.

4) I I have fat fingers. Two finger scroll sucks ass.

5) I can hand my computer to other people and have them not freak out. I don't understand why people freak out about Macs, but they do. People like this clunky thing called a PC. Go figure.

6) I like being able to get at source code when I need to without having to learn another language. This is something that I rail for (see previous post).

7) Macs can run forever. But when they fail, they fail in spectacular ways that basically render them a large paperweight...a large paperweight that has all that info that you didn't back up. Sure, PCs fail, and fail more often, but you can usually still swipe your info from the drive in a myriad of ways. Unless the drive fails, and in that case, you're just as fragged.

8) They changed the Macbook from Black to White. Think about how often you've seen anything approaching White in my wardrobe, accessories, or car that goes well with White. I own a trench coat for goodness sake. Still (yes, the lining is out). And it's black...take that Columbine aftermath.

9) I'd have to buy mom one, too, and that would mean having to "teach" her how to use it. It took long enough to get her comfortable on Windows...OS X would blow her mind. Also, I really can't afford buying TWO Macbook Airs.

In short, the time isn't right. Not for me to do the Macintosh dance. Don't get me wrong, love 'em. But at home, for my own stuff? Not...Gonna...Do-it.

Thank you for your patience, and thank you for your support, my fellow computer users. But I ain't buyin' a Mac this here day. Not until they fix some things. Or until the iPhone switches from that bitch AT&T.

Best regards,
Antonius Rex

Dear Messrs:

While I appreciate your need to move on with the development and support of your product line, I find it astonishing and appalling that your corporation has chosen to discontinue both the support and sale of Windows XP in favor of Windows Vista. As a user who has chosen to remain with your platform, I am angered.

Your choice to leave most of your users with an inferior interim product while we wait for the next release is irresponsible, and quite frankly, rude. XP works, has worked and has continued to work. It supports other software and hardware, is still relatively simple to use and is a complete release. Why you still continue to tout the virtues of Vista remains a mystery. It is incomplete, incompatible and just plain clunky. It isn't user friendly (I still don't understand why Microsoft has continued to hide code and features from the user interface) in any sense, and makes it more and more difficult for super users to work with.

In short, you suck.

FUCK YOU, SIRS! FUCK YOU!

Thank you for your attention.

Best regards,
Antonius Rex

CASTING-MTV-LOOKING FOR "THE ULTIMATE PARTY GIRLS"

THE REAL MY FAIR LADY-(Working Title)
From the producers of The Apprentice, and Wife Swap, MTV is now seeking women who love to party and are known by their peers as party animals.
Here is an opportunity of a lifetime to learn proper etiquette from the elite….

We are going to help turn bold, outspoken, love to party women into "proper ladies"
Think Lindsay Lohan turns into the Queen of England!

• Are you the girl that speaks her mind, you are bold and you are the life of the party?
• Are you constantly shocking people with your crazy behavior?
• Are you a girl that sometimes can drink more than the guys?
• Do you have the attitude that you "don’t care what others think about you?
• Do you love to hang with crazy friends or the boys?
• Do you ever wear clothes that are too revealing?
• Do you ever play drinking games that are not lady like?
• Do you ever use curse words in public, when you shouldn’t?
• Would your manners possibly get you thrown out of a formal gathering?
• Do you think if you learned better skills, you would get more out of life when it comes to impressing a man or getting a better job?
• ARE YOU READY FOR A CHANGE TODAY!!!

• Here is the opportunity of a lifetime to learn proper etiquette like those of the Royal Family

• We will give you the chance to master the art of CHARM & POISE… Hopefully, we will turn you into a lady fit to be a Princess

Get ready to be whisked away to learn proper etiquette, ways to communicate, in order to hang with the elite. Come back a new and improved woman with a MAJOR prize in hand!!!

===========================================================
To apply or nominate someone you know EMAIL US IMMEDIATELY!!!
YOU MUST INCLUDE: NAME, AGE, CONTACT TEL, A PHOTO, a description of yourself or the person you are nominating. Include as much information about the person explaining their party ways and why they would be good for the show. Also include a picture:
Email: morascajenna@yahoo.com

LA People!

Go. Laugh! Drink! Free! Feb. 5th (tomorrow) and Feb 19th!



My work here is done.

For those of you in the New York Area and beyond...Yes, I shall be playing...and then drinking. A lot. Which is really kinda wrong considering, yes?
_____________________________________________

Reality Castaways Dodgeball Tournament
Saturday December 8th, 2007
to benefit Reality 4 Diabetes

Come watch or even better, play against, no wait, even better, play with your favorite past Survivor Contestants in a Celebrity Dodgeball tournament.
Then hang out for a special VIP after party where you can rub elbows and hear stories about Reality TV's biggest Reality TV Show.



There are 4 ways you can get involved to help raise money for a great cause.

1) Purchase a ticket to the event/after party - Cost $100
2) Purchase a VIP pass and participate in the tournament against your favorite Survivor contestants - Cost $150
3) Purchase the Immunity Idol pass and get to play on a team with your favorite Survivor contestants - Cost $200
4) Make a seperate donation to help us find a cure.

VERY IMPORTANT!!!
To purchase tickets send in your check with the following info:
1) Make check payable to: The Sports Center Inc (In the Memo put "R4D Long Island event"
2) Mail your check with the number and type of tickets you want to: The Sports Center Inc, 2807 Middle Country Rd, Lake Grove, NY 11755
3) On the envelope Mark Attn:Grant

After the event enjoy food and drink and party into the late hours all for a great cause.

Cook Islands (team is complete)
Billy Garcia
Cao Boi
Nathan Gonzalez
Cristina Coria
Cecelia Mancilla
Flica Jessica Smith


Fiji (team is complete)
Anthony Robinson
Mookie Lee
Boo Bernis
Jessica deBen
Rita Verreos
Stacy Kimball

Panama - Exile (team is complete)
Bob Dawg Mason
Bruce Kenagi
Terry Deitz
Shane Powers
Misty Giles
Ruth Marie Millman

Vanuatu (team is complete)
Brook Geraghty
Lisa Keiffer
Twila Tanner
Chad Crittenden
Mia Galeotalanza
Chris Daugherty(winner - Vanuatu)


Guatemala (team is complete)
Brian Corridan
Judd Sergent
Jamie Newton
Brianna Varela
Cindy Hall
Amy O'Hara

Hybrid Bomb Squad (Team is Complete)
Rupert Boneham/Pearl Islands(Allstars winner - Fan Vote)
Big Tom Buchanan/Africa
Lex Van den Berghe/Africa
Christa Hastie/Pearl Islands
Austin Carty/Exile
Rory Freeman/Vanuatu

Palau
James Miller
Coby Archa
Jennifer Lyon
Katie Gallagher
Wanda Shirk
one more from Palau

Asia
Ken Stafford/Thailand
Jed Hildebrand/Thailand
Tanya Vance/Thailand
John Raymond/Thailand
Jenna Lewis/Borneo
one more...you'll have to be there to see who it is!

Raffles, silent auctions and fun.
Call 631-648-8951 for more info

http://www.thesportscenterinc.com/

http://www.reality4diabetes.com/index.html

http://www.myspace.com/realitycastawaysdodgeball